A place where I share my deepest darkest thoughts!

I have always been confused with regards to whether or not I am a feminist. The word has developed so many negative connotations that it has become a scary one. The left and the right have both decided on their own definitions of it which are either too diluted, too watered down and sometimes even polluted.

What does feminism actually even mean?
The dictionary defines it as “the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.”

The definition seems simple enough right? Both genders should be treated equally, there should be equal rights, equal pay, equal opportunities, equal freedom, among other things. If you start looking at it through the lens of religion it becomes a little problematic but I think that is a matter of individual interpretation and should not affect the overall cause.

Feminism is not about what you do or do not wear in my estimation and it saddens me to think that, this is what we have boiled such an important cause down to. This has become such an important part of the whole debate and it detracts from so many of the real issues. One side says that wearing a head scarf is against feminism and one side says that the freedom to walkout on the street dressed down is feminism.

I say that feminism is being able to do what you want to do without being forced to. I should not be forced to wear a head scarf, that should be my own decision. Similarly I should not be forced to take it off unless I want to. I should feel safe walking on the road in western clothing or whatever I feel comfortable in without the fear of being harassed. Similarly I should not be forced to wear clothes that I do not feel comfortable in, clothes that I find too revealing or scant. It is about the freedom to wear what you want to as opposed to what it is, that you are choosing to wear.

Recently I was doing some research on human rights and that is when I realized that at the core, we are all feminists. We just don’t know it because not all of us actually understand what being a feminist actually means. Let me tell you what being a feminist means to me.

It means that I stand against the different forms of oppression and injustice that other women who are around me have faced and are facing. I consider myself privileged because I have been protected from these sorts of violations but there are horrors that even I as a woman have faced. There are countless stories of harassment and eve teasing that each of us has experienced which has made us feel unsafe. I remember hating places like Sunday Bazars/Mangal Bazars and if you are a woman, you know why.

Let me tell you the many things that made me realize that I am a feminist and why all us should consider ourselves to be one.

– In 2019, the Edhi Foundation found 375 newborn bodies buried in various parts of Karachi, most of them girls. The Edhi spokesperson suggested two reasons for this: pregnancies out of wedlock, and the fact that many people do not want girl children. (Dawn News)

– Thirty-two percent of primary school age girls are out of school in Pakistan, compared to 21 percent of boys. By grade six, 59 percent of girls are out of school, versus 49 percent of boys. Only 13 percent of girls are still in school by ninth grade. (Human Rights Watch)

– Two thousand cases of dowry deaths are counted per year, which are 2.45 per 10,000. Pakistan has adopted a dowry system from Indian culture, which is ranking at the top of dowry violence list. (The Nation)

– Pakistani rights activists estimate that there are about 1,000 “honor killings” in Pakistan every year. (Human Rights Watch)

– Yet Pakistan currently ranks the second lowest country in the world for gender equality, according to the Global Gender Gap Index. (UNFPA)

These are some of the facts and figures on the condition or women and women’s rights abuses in Pakistan alone. These are the figures that have compelled me to wake up and smell the coffee and identify as a feminist.

We can disagree on so many things when it comes to feminism. We can argue over meaningless issues like the posters used for the Aurat March or the ‘right’ dress code. These however are not the important issues and we waste precious time and energy arguing over them as they detract from the critical issues.

Let’s work together to see how we can help the women around us and empower them to stand up for themselves and stand strong. Let us teach the people around us that calling the murder of any female cannot be linked to honor. There can never be ‘honor’ in killing someone. Let us start to become the change we want to see around us and let us start focusing on the important issues, the ones that are at the center of it all.