A place where I share my deepest darkest thoughts!

On the 11th of September 2012, me, my husband and a visiting guest from Lahore were robbed at gun point in Lahore, outside an SCB ATM. The gun was pointed at me and we were in the car. They took my purse, my husbands wallet and phone and luckily they were out of time so the friend’s phone was saved.

It seems that the entire day was leading up to that moment in time and everything that has happened after it is a hallucination. My world has stopped at the time when they opened the car door and pointed the gun at me. I have no sense of loss where it comes to the material possessions they took. But I feel that I lost everything in that one moment, my life, my sense of safety and well being; to the point where I feel that I am broken beyond repair. I wonder if I will ever feel safe again.

You always hear about other people getting robbed and you know that when your time comes you will never resist but once the gun is pointed at you and your loved ones that’s the moment when you realize that you have been living a lie. I have braved worst storms, loss of lives of loved ones, etc but nothing has affected me and my psychological and emotional well being as much as this incident. 

The thing that happens when the moment of truth arrives is non-describable and only once you feel it can you realize how stupid, insignificant and lowly a human being actually is. (I am referring to myself and not the piece of garbage who robbed us). I pray to Allah and I cry in every prayer since, loud soul-shattering sobs, thanking Him for preserving life and physical well being and beseeching Him to keep me and my loved ones protected and safe in every way!