Archive for July, 2012

Saturday Morning Blues

It has been a particularly hectic week. Lots of project proposals and reports to work on and submit. Have had to do most of it on my own and it has taken a toll especially since it is not over yet and there have been other contributing factors to work related stress.

Sat in the balcony this morning, the weather was beautiful. It was cloudy with a nice wind. Sipped tea while I tried to make out the whispers of the wind but unfortunately could not indulge in this pleasure for long due to the labourers making housing and commuting in the less developed that normal area I recently shifted to. They all felt a need to stare at me and not let me enjoy the rare good weather in Lahore.

Now back in my room reading an amazing book which my friend recommended (The Forty Rule of Love). Recently I am finding myself devouring books like a hungry animal. Finished three books in less than a month which is a record since I moved to Lahore. But I liked it and it is prompting me to write which I need to do.

Prayed on Shab-e-Barat, realized that I hadn’t prayed in a while. I last prayed at someone’s funeral and hadn’t prayed since. I suspect that I was a little upset with Him after that funeral without even realizing it. I asked for forgiveness for that as well. I feel that it was a very meaningful namaz because I was crying from the time I did my Niyyat to the time I ended my namaz.

My room smells bad. Like the dirty wet cloth that the maid used to mop it with. Need to light some candles to remove the smell and to maybe help light up my life. I hope that the candle I light for scent will light up my heart and mind and soul as well.

Life As I Am Coming to Know It

We always hear about how life is unfair and how things both good and bad can happen when you least expect it. Last year was a miserable year in many ways and a good one too in some ways. This year started with new hopes for a better year and some of those hopes were fulfilled. New house, new job, visa, car, wedding, etc… However it has had more than a fair share of bad things happening too. One so bad and so sudden and so disturbing that I don’t even feel like writing about it. It makes last year seem like a bad dream in contrast to a menacing nightmare that this year is turning out to be.

We always hear about how God has great things planned for us and whatever misfortunes or rather tragedies befall us only make us stronger and are for the best, etc etc but sometimes it is really hard to understand the WHY behind the things that happen to us and to those around us. Why for instance does a 90 year old live while a 5 month old perishes? Why do people die of thirst and hunger while others waste the same resources? Yes I know life is not meant to be fair, but how unfair is it supposed to be? Is there any measure of the injustice versus the good?

We hear that God answers prayers so today I pray to God to forgive me and my loved ones and to protect us all from the harm that has come and is coming or may come our way. I beseech Him to place a shield between us and all that is wrong, bad and evil in this world, including the evil that resides within us.