Posts Tagged ‘ Gaslight ’

She Said

He had gone too far this time and he would suffer the consequences now. I rang the doorbell of his apartment and his sister opened the door. She led me to the drawing room since I had asked to speak to his mother.

“Assalamualiekum Aunty.” I greeted her when she entered the room. “Aunty mujhe aap se aik bohat zaroori baat karni hai.” I told his mother with my arms crossed over my chest.

“Bolo, kya baat hai?” She asked me a little taken aback. We lived in the same building but we rarely interacted. She seemed like decent educated person so I decided to come and talk to her instead of creating a scene in the complex.

“Aunty aap please Zubair ko samjhaein. Pehlay woh complex ki larkiyon ko sirf comments marta tha aur ajeeb baatein kasta tha lekin ab wo hadd paar kar raha hai.” I told her so that she could talk sense into her son.

“Kya matlab hai tumara? Kya kar raha hai mera beta? Woh to itna shareef hai. Wo to complex ki sub larkiyon ko apni behan samajhta hai aur unko aankh uth kar bhi nahin dekhta. Poora muhalla gawahi deta hai meray betay ki sharafat ki.” She told me getting aggressive.

“Aapke shareef betay ne bohat dafa aap hi ki shareef beti ke haath mujhe apna number aur phool aur khat bhaijay hain. Usko bula lar pooch lein aap khud ke kitna shareef hai aapka beta.” I told her to pop her delusional bubble.

“Bakwas nahin karo meray saamne. Mera beta kabhi aisa kar hi nahin sakta aur apni behan ko to kabhi bhi is kaam ke liye istemaal nahin kar sakta woh. Tum pagal to nahin ho?” She asked me then to gaslight me and turn this around on me somehow.

“Jee aunty, aap ka beta apnay ghar mein bohat shareef hoga ishi liye mein aapke paas aye hoon aap ki galat fehmi door karne. Lekin aainda mein aapke paas nahin aoongi aur wahin usko zaleel karke chali jaoon gi. Mein chahti hoon ke aap khud usko samjha dein taake koi yeh na kahe ke aapka beta aur aapki beti ka bhai ghatiya insaan hai.” I told her to let her know that I had come to her out of concern for her dignity and her daughter’s reputation.

“Jao jao, bari ayee meray betay ko zaleel karne wali. Khud ko dekha hai, aadha larka lagti hoon in chhote baalon aur larkon wale kapron mein. Larka samajh kar haath laga dya hoga us ne. Tum to galay hi par gayee ho. Tum jaisee to hazaron uske aagay peechay ghoomti hain. Aaj kal ki larkiyon ka to kaam hi yehi hai. Larke ne abhi thori si lift kya karadi, harassment ka ilzaam le kar aa jati hain, tum jaisee awara larkiyan.” She told me as I stared at her words and thoughts in shock and disgust.

I finally understood why he acted the way he did and why his sister was not allowed to wear anything other than a burqa when she left the house. Why he threatened to kill any guy he suspected of looking at her while he openly commented on and even groped girls in the same building.

I felt tears come into my eyes at the insults she had just thrown at me but I could not cry here or now.

“Aunty mein dua karooongi ke aapki beti to bilkul aapke betay jaisa shohar mile.” I turned around and left the room after saying my piece.

When would women stop protecting men who are harassers and abusers of other women? Why do we always blame and shame the victim in such situations? When will people learn to teach their boys the concept of consent and that women are not objects for gratification? When I see and hear instances like this being played on our social media and being acted out around is when I feel a deep sense of hopelessness but then I tell myself I will teach my children better. That brings my hope back.