The Dark Side of Social Media

I saw the dark side of social media recently and I saw the ability it has of totally destroying a person. The way each and every insult from people who don’t even know you tear away at your entire being breaking you down to nothing. They started with her physical appearance, they said she was ugly, they said her eyes were too small, they said she should get her mole removed and then they started comparing her looks to that of animals.
There were comments like she looks worse than my pet goat and she is wearing too much makeup. These were her pictures from one of the most important days of her life and they reveled in commenting and degrading each and every aspect of her physical appearance.
Then they moved on to her family and how she was from a family with a lot of money and that is why she was able to achieve what they considered to be something they deserved to have. They said she was where she was today because her family had money and they bought her what she wanted.
They were talking about a girl who is like a daughter to me. Their hate and dislike towards her were toxic and so very similar. It made it seem like social media turns people into hate mongers who have to destroy the happiness of others.
Why did they all decide to hate on her you ask? She must have done something if everyone thought she deserved to be abused and have her entire life and being scrutinized. She was harassed so much that she finally had to delete all her accounts and leave social media for a while. Her only fault was to say yes to a proposal from a guy whose family had been pursuing her for the past 3 years or so and begging for her hand in marriage.
When the relationship ended, they came after her again, making her the target of their hatred and anger. They had no idea what sort of toxic relationship she had been in. They broke her down again and this time they were much more ruthless and much more venomous. I would say that there is a very dark side to social media and I have seen it slowly choke and kill someone with its toxicity. What better way to kill someone than to destroy any sense of self-esteem and self-respect they have left after leading a very difficult life that none of them were aware of.
Then I see a shimmer of hope, I see some people defending her and taking her side. I see people stand up for her and tell the haters and the trolls to back off and leave her alone. Those voices though are a few and far apart. Those voices seem to be missing when they are needed the most. Those voices are the ones that people try to drown out more and more but those are the voices that matter and those are the voices that we need to turn this dark social media into a bright place.
I hope and pray that I am one of those voices, the voices that stand up to bullying and harassment, the voices that protect instead of attacking, the voices that speak truth to power. I hope and pray everyday to meet more people who are positive and encouraging. I pray to meet the people who don’t use their thoughts, words and actions to hurt others and bring them down. I pray to meet the people who lift others up and make them stronger and more determined to be themselves.

Swing On a Tree By The Moon

She had always loved swings. They made her feel alive and gave her wings. She always felt better when she sat on one. She left like she was in control and she felt like it could transport her back to a time when things were simpler and familiar.

She had recently discovered her love for trees, she felt like one sometimes. She felt like an old tree, a tree that is wise, a tree that suffers and only gives and barely takes.

The moon was an old friend of hers. She had often sat in her balcony and cried as the moon watched on and consoled her. The moon always stayed with her and told her in its own way that her problems were small in the grander scheme of things.

Today all three seemed to be unable to cheer her up or bring her the comfort she sought. Today she was tired and hurt. She was despondent and tired of being the provider and the peacemaker.

Today the moon, the tree and the swing seemed to pull her deeper into herself. They seemed to be making fun of her for all the sacrifices and hard work she had put into all her relationships.

She heard her baby cry so she sat up straight, swung with all her might, hoping to touch the moon lit sky. Then she jumped off with a renewed purpose and energy that she didn’t know she still possessed and returned to her life as a mother, a wife and a daughter-in-law.

Swing by the Moon

How I Cope With Corona

Things are getting worse everyday as more and more cases of the Corona virus are cropping up in Pakistan. I have stopped watching the news but even then, there is a bombardment of information that I don’t want to see or know thanks to social media and WatsApp University. I am tired of the updates on how many people have been affected, or how the government has failed us, or how people lack the basic common sense to stay home and stay safe.

I don’t want to know how bad things are and how much worse they are becoming. Things are sad and depressing enough. I normally escaped to the world of entertainment by watching US news and that just got really ugly too. All I have left to turn to now is Sweet Magnolias and Ertrugul on Netflix with some Korean Dramas thrown in for good measure.

This pandemic has its ups and down and I for one want to focus on the positives which is getting harder as each day passes. The cases that were once so distant are hitting closer and closer to home and it is getting scarier day by day. People who are taking precautions are also being affected and that makes things even scarier when we have four children at home along with two elderly people with pre-existing conditions.

Then comes all the other bad news, the sugar shortage, the poultry fiasco, the predicted food crises thanks to locusts, etc. etc. Things look bleaker and sadder everyday and people do all they can to add fuel to the fire of panic and anger. I have come to terms with the fact that things will get much harder before they get better. I realize that I cannot control the actions of others and I cannot tell them how to live. I can only do whatever I can to protect myself and my family and Shukar Alhamdulillah, we have managed to stay safe so far and I can only pray that it stays that way.

When I saw this Ayah yesterday, I couldn’t help but write it down and seek solace in these words.
“And when I am ill, it is He who cures me.” (Ayah 80, Surah Ash-Shura)

May He protect us all and our loved ones and may He heal all those affected. Ameen.

WhatsApp Image 2020-06-05 at 2.20.53 AM

Thoughts in Knots

It’s one of those nights when you are exhausted but you can’t sleep because your thoughts are in knots (yes Hala Soomro I used it) and there are circles in the corners of my mind (don’t know where I read that bt I loved it).

Something is off and I have no idea what it is and I’m not hormonal! What is this weird feeling? It’s like my mind is making fun of me. Laughing at me for not being able to find it as it hides whatever thought it is that I’m reaching for. I don’t like it when that happens.

I have so much to do and so little time. Miles to go before I sleep, yup that’s it. Miles and miles but I’m paralyzed.

I’m excited and I’m scared and I’m frustrated and I’m confused. These are just too many feelings for a person like me who has limited powers of comprehension right now.
I can cry and beg and plead with myself to stop thinking and stop fretting and write and fight it out but sometimes you just can’t.

Sometimes you are meant to drown in the quicksand of your slippery thoughts hoping to reach the answers that are hidden deep down. Sometimes you have to fall asleep and hope that you will find the answers in your sleep.

Please pray that I do. I’m sooo tired. Too tired to untie the knots and find the answers. Too too too tired…

Knot Prayer

Reach Out

He felt stuck and suffocated. He had reached out for help so many times and from so many people that he had started to feel like a beggar.

All his life he had heard people tell him that patience bears fruit, that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, that is it always darkest before the dawn and other such nonsense but he seemed to be stuck in a night of eternal despair.

Even when the morning came, it did not bring hope and today he decided would be the last time he ever reached out but he also promised himself that it would be his best effort to do so.

The light was too far from his reach so he closed his eyes, touched his finger to the ever-evasive speck of light on the horizon and felt a strong spiritual energy enter and fill the emptiness he had felt within his heart and soul. For the first time in forever he smiled and then his heart stopped beating, bringing his misery to an end.



My Heart

I try my best to protect my heart,
Sometimes though I fall apart.

There are so many things I need to protect it from,
Hate, fear, envy, despair and that, needs wisdom.

I wish I could take it out and wash it clean vigorously,
Scrub and hose off all the dirt and pain mercilessly.

Alas that is so much easier said than done,
It seems like this journey to purity has just begun.

I hope I succeed in this slow and painful uphill climb,
One day, peace of heart, I will hopefully find.




It has been a long, tiring and somewhat toxic day and almost as soon as I raise my hands to start my salat, the tears start rolling down my face. Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, when will this end, when will there be a day when I don’t feel this way? When will the words stop hurting and when will the children stop testing my patience? When will I finally be able to come and talk to you without being sad and a seemingly ungrateful servant?

I remember I had always felt guilty about thinking things during Salah, thinking about the past and the present and the daunting future. Then I realized that this is my time with Allah, this is my time to take all my concerns and worries to Him so that all these thoughts come to the fore of my mind and by the time I go into Sajdah, they all slide off my mind and get buried deep into the ground just like I will one day be absorbed into it.

As soon as my mind touches the ground, I feel such a sense of peace that no matter how hard I try I can never truly express it in words. It is almost as if blood, life, positivity and calm all rush into my mind and I am overcome with a feeling of warmth and acceptance. I love that we do two sajdahs in each rakah because one would never be enough.

By the time it is time for Dua, I become the grateful servant that I know I should have been from the very beginning and I ask for forgiveness. I go back to my life in this world, feeling refreshed and ready to face the challenges that life throws my way now and again. Ya Maalik, thank You for the gift that is Salah and the privilege of Sajdah.


Love Sajdah


I am a swing

I am feeling light but empty

I would rather be in a park, hanging from a tree

The slide, see-saw and monkey bars are my family

I dream of soaring high, up into the sky

I don’t like being dependent on others but that is how I get by

I am the perfect friend to help you fly away

I’m getting old and rusty and slowing falling apart

I have helped so many friends, escape their pain and sorrow

Some people have been hurt by me, broken bones, busted lips and a few scrapes maybe

I feel forever guilty and ashamed because of their pain

I love nights which are bright with stars and a full moon

I exist to bring others joy and happiness

Remember me as someone who was always there for you.


The Making of Me

My mind is a complex web of thoughts and fears,
It makes me time again, cry buckets of tears.

My mind is not a box but rather a well,
And my thoughts are squares which often isn’t swell.


I am confused and uncertain, incapable of making decisions,
My being feels cut up after traumas that have made so many incisions.

I feel like I am a person made up of wounds and scars,
This makes it very difficult for me to live happily, as I set high bars.


My body by far has been the most neglected,
By all my confusion and trauma, it is adversely affected.

Many years of uncertainty, fear and toxicity, unrestricted,
To all the things that hurt my body, I have been addicted.

Achieve a better mind-body connection in 5 steps | Psychologies

My Mother (A Poem)

Your eyes have been ever watchful,
With every word and step you have taught us to be careful.

You have always been very strong,
It has been your obligation to set right every wrong.

You always had the most beautiful hair,
It has now thinned and grayed, life seems so unfair.

Everything life threw your way has taken a toll,
I guess that is a price one pays for achieving each life goal.

Your hands have become so dry and worn,
The effects of your hard work and effort they have borne.

They have written, cooked, mended and comforted,
Three wonderful people they have raised and tended.

Like a book cannot stand without a spine,
You make our house, a home divine.

Whenever people think of someone with a strong backbone,
You name is always mentioned and is well known.

You have taught us to be strong and not to cry over a scraped knee or elbow,
We have learnt to stand strong and when we are down, to let go.

You have always taught us to forgive and rise above it all,
When it comes to values, manners and integrity, never to drop the ball.

You have strong legs on which our household stood,
When I am searching for strength and hope, towards you I look.

You are the pillar of strength I lean on,
You are the only person I can truly and completely, depend on.