Archive for the ‘ Uncategorized ’ Category


It has been a long, tiring and somewhat toxic day and almost as soon as I raise my hands to start my salat, the tears start rolling down my face. Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, when will this end, when will there be a day when I don’t feel this way? When will the words stop hurting and when will the children stop testing my patience? When will I finally be able to come and talk to you without being sad and a seemingly ungrateful servant?

I remember I had always felt guilty about thinking things during Salah, thinking about the past and the present and the daunting future. Then I realized that this is my time with Allah, this is my time to take all my concerns and worries to Him so that all these thoughts come to the fore of my mind and by the time I go into Sajdah, they all slide off my mind and get buried deep into the ground just like I will one day be absorbed into it.

As soon as my mind touches the ground, I feel such a sense of peace that no matter how hard I try I can never truly express it in words. It is almost as if blood, life, positivity and calm all rush into my mind and I am overcome with a feeling of warmth and acceptance. I love that we do two sajdahs in each rakah because one would never be enough.

By the time it is time for Dua, I become the grateful servant that I know I should have been from the very beginning and I ask for forgiveness. I go back to my life in this world, feeling refreshed and ready to face the challenges that life throws my way now and again. Ya Maalik, thank You for the gift that is Salah and the privilege of Sajdah.


Love Sajdah


I am a swing

I am feeling light but empty

I would rather be in a park, hanging from a tree

The slide, see-saw and monkey bars are my family

I dream of soaring high, up into the sky

I don’t like being dependent on others but that is how I get by

I am the perfect friend to help you fly away

I’m getting old and rusty and slowing falling apart

I have helped so many friends, escape their pain and sorrow

Some people have been hurt by me, broken bones, busted lips and a few scrapes maybe

I feel forever guilty and ashamed because of their pain

I love nights which are bright with stars and a full moon

I exist to bring others joy and happiness

Remember me as someone who was always there for you.


The Making of Me

My mind is a complex web of thoughts and fears,
It makes me time again, cry buckets of tears.

My mind is not a box but rather a well,
And my thoughts are squares which often isn’t swell.


I am confused and uncertain, incapable of making decisions,
My being feels cut up after traumas that have made so many incisions.

I feel like I am a person made up of wounds and scars,
This makes it very difficult for me to live happily, as I set high bars.


My body by far has been the most neglected,
By all my confusion and trauma, it is adversely affected.

Many years of uncertainty, fear and toxicity, unrestricted,
To all the things that hurt my body, I have been addicted.

Achieve a better mind-body connection in 5 steps | Psychologies

A list of things I can share with the world

A thinking mind to solve problems
Eyes to see you for who you truly are
Ears to hear you out when your heart begins to sink
Lips to tell you everything that you need to be told
Shoulder to lean on as I lead you far away
Arms to hold you close when you feel sad and alone
A chest you rest your head on when you feel lost and afraid
A stomach which is deep to hold all your deep dark secrets
Legs which are strong enough to help me stand by you and stand up for you
I will gladly give you my all to help you stand tall.


By George I’ve Got It!

It’s been bothering me for a while. I need to choose a direction for my Facebook page and Instagram and I just didn’t know what to do. What is my calling? Do I want it to be just about my life in Switzerland? That can’t be it because I’m not here for that long. It it going to be just another page of a mommy handling two energy filled, attention seeking little boys? I think there are more than enough of those.

Finally it hit me, I am good at writing and using my words to write about people and make them feel better about themselves, at least that is what I think. So today I have decided to start doing that. Everyday I will write a new post about someone who has impacted my life in big and small ways and maybe don’t even know how important they are or have been to me at some point in my life.

I will use my page to thank, appreciate and encourage the people who have made my life better than it would have been if they had not entered it. Stay tuned, if you are one of those people you will know sooner or later InshaAllah.

If you know anyone that I know who needs a pick me up, reach out to me and I will try and write about them sooner. Some people will be easier to write about than others so if I don’t write about you right away, please know that you will be covered soon. Love you all and can’t wait to start writing about you!

So if you are connected to me by the Red Thread of Fate or by Allah’s will I will hopefully write out to you soon.

“The Red Thread of Fate, is an East Asian belief originating from Chinese legend. According to this myth, the gods tie an invisible red cord around the ankles of those that are destined to meet one another in a certain situation or help each other in a certain way. Often, in Japanese and Korean culture, it is thought to be tied around the little finger.”

Red Thread of Fate

Tough & Gentle

It happened today, I felt my anger rise up and I shouted at him. I saw his body shake as he got startled by the sound of my angry voice. He looked up at me like a scared little puppy and I felt like something inside me died. I felt like I was an evil person who doesn’t deserve this blessing that I got after so many years of praying or rather begging and pleading.

Every time I raise my voice or hand at him I end up feeling like a monster. I feel like I damage him as a person and suppress his personality, especially when I see mothers around me let their children hit other children and not say a word to them when they waste food, bite, etc.

I read all these articles that talk about how strict mothers raise exceptional children and I hope to God that they are accurate. Then I promise myself that no matter what happens I won’t lose it again. I will breathe and relax and not do this to him.

Then it happens again. He is hitting his cousin and I can’t watch as he hits and gets hit so I ask him to stop and then remove him from that situation as he thrashes and resists my hold. Sometimes he hits me back and sometimes he calms down and starts playing.

I make amends as soon as he calms down. I hold him, I play with him, I tickle him, I become a crocodile and chase him until I see him smile again.Then I hope and pray that my love for him shines brighter than my anger or disappointment. I hope he knows that I love him very very much and that he won’t grow up thinking of me as the wicked witch who was always angry.

My child, I love you very very much. I thank Allah everyday for blessing me with you and I hope that you will grow up to be the amazing person I see in you already and I hope you will forgive me for all the times I was tough and remember the times when I held you and kissed you gently, the way only a mother can.

Oschinen See

My First Cupping Therapy (Hijama)

Today I got cupping therapy ‘hijama’ done for the first time. All I knew about it, was that it is really good for you, it is a sunnah, it is painless and it cups out the bad blood in our cells. My cousin does this therapy herself in Karachi and I was here incidentally on the ‘right dates’ (as per Sunnah).

Sunah keep-calm-and-do-hijama-it-s-sunnah

I was recommended a general therapy but you can get cupping done to address specific issues as well, such as skin problems, rheumatic diseases, fertility issues, high blood pressure, migraines, anxiety & depression, varicose veins, etc.

I loved how neat, clean and professional the setup is at her clinic. The attention to detail at each and every contact point was very obvious. The cubicle I was in was also so relaxing and well done, that I almost fell asleep during the therapy. I changed into a very comfortable (and surprisingly fashionable) gown and lay down on my stomach on a very comfy massage table.


My cousin put two cups on my back, one under my neck and one a little lower than that. This sucked my skin up a bit and she then put small cuts on this skin with a small razor/scalpel to allow the cells to bleed out the ‘bad’ blood. She would periodically remove the cups and wipe the blood off with an antiseptic cloth/gauze and replace the cups and she did this about 2-3 times until the blood became clear (plasma).

She then bandaged it and gave me an ointment to apply to it after every 2 hours and I was instructed to have a bath after two hours as well. It is recommended that nothing is taken (food) for two hours before and after the treatment and ideally you should take a CBC test with you before going in for a cupping session.


It is a really great ointment and it contains petroleum jelly, homeopathic remedies and lavender & tea tree essential oils

The cupping, cutting and bleeding out was not painful, it could be called uncomfortable but not painless. If you have a low thresh-hold for pain then it might prove to be painful for you. I consider myself to have a high thresh-hold however I have finicky family members who underwent this therapy without causing a fuss.

I’m not sure how beneficial this therapy has been for me but I feel somewhat comforted by the fact that I got this one and the bad blood is out. It may be purely psychological but I am feeling a little lighter and calmer than usual. Also I learnt that I bled less and have relatively thicker blood which means I need to drink more water and I may be somewhat anemic.

Wishing best of luck to all those of you who are considering going in to get this procedure done and I hope I was able to allay some of your fears and address some of your concerns.

The Importance of the Heart in Islam

Recently attended a lecture by Shaykh Mufti Kamaluddin Ahmed in Lahore the topic of which was coming closer to Allah but I think that it was more about hearts. I feel that the talk was something everyone should know about so I thought I would write it down for myself and others.

Man’s life will be ruled by one of three things in his lifetime, his desires (nafs), his intellect or his heart. The best of these to live life by is the heart however because desires can be unlimited and the current ideology on this, is to live life the way you want and do whatever you want as long as you don’t hurt others. Allah however has added two more conditions, don’t hurt yourself and your afterlife also. The problem with living life by intellect is that it is limited and somethings are beyond the comprehension of the intellect. All three are important however but the heart should reign supreme.

What has Allah told us about the heart in the Quran?
1. We must strive to have a pure heart
2. Allah sent the Quran to the Prophet’s heart – “Say (O Muhammad, to mankind) who is enemy to Gabriel! For he it is who hath revealed (this scripture) to thy heart by God’s leave.” (2:97)
3. Quran is guidance for those who make their heart their Imaan
4. We need to open our hearts to the Quran

The Quran is experienced in three ways:
Recite – Words – Tongue
Translation – Meaning – Mind
Feelings – Heart

“Lo! therein verily is a reminder for him who hath a heart” (50:37)

There are three types of hearts mentioned in the Quran:
1. Blind-Dead Heart
2. Sealed Heart – “And their hearts are sealed, so that they apprehend not.” (9:87)
3. Hard Heart (This happens when you question excessively just to argue or criticize) “Then woe unto those whose hearts are hardened against remembrance of God. Such are in plain error.” (39: 22)
A hard heart has pride in it. A hard heart will not go to heaven. Also it is a heart that does not humble itself when afflicted by a calamity. Allah hands such people over to Shaitaan who beautifies their sins to them. They have forgotten all the good things they knew. They live a life in contradiction with Quran and Sunnah.

What are the signs of having a diseased?
1. This person no longer feels a longing for Allah and the Afterlife. His thinking is limited to this world. He is scared of death. Believers on the other hand think of death as a bridge to their Beloved.
2. Their nafs rules their lives
3. They feel no hesitation in sinning in front of Allah but don’t sin in front of people
4. Finds it hard to do good deeds
5. Do not like good advice/criticism/questions

“And obey not him whose heart we have made heedless of Our Remembrance, who followeth his own lust.” (18:28)
“In their hearts is a disease, and God increaseth their disease. (2:10)

The main symptom of having a sick/diseased heart is that such a person oscillates between good and down. There are ups and downs in his/her faith and relationship with Allah and others.

A pure heart is referred to as a pure heart (Kalb e Saleem) and has two components which are a loving heart (kalb e muneeb) and a soft heart. A loving heart is one that yearns for Allah and is attained through building a relationship with Allah and frequent remembrance of Him. “Verily in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest.” (13:28)

A soft heart is attained by building a good relationship with people around you and being soft hearted towards them.

How is one soft hearted towards other people?
1. Forgiving people who you don’t like or have bad feelings towards
2. Praying to Allah for these people to be forgiven as well
3. Consult with them and stay in touch/friends with them to ensure you are soft hearted.

May Allah make us all pure hearted and of those who shall enter Jannah.

“The day when wealth and sons avail not (any man). Save him who bringeth unto God a whole heart“ (26: 88-89)

Apple Sauce for Babies

Met up with some friends yesterday and we were discussing things we feed our babies. One of them recommended apple sauce and so I made some today. My 8 month old likes salty stuff instead of sweet so added salt to the recipe instead of sugar.
So I took an apple (soft green one) and cored and peeled it. My baby nibbled on the core while I peeled the apple.

Then I cut it into smaller pieces and put it to boil in enough water to immerse the apple pieces.


Once the apples were a little soft I mashed them but ideally if you have an immersion/stick blender then use that.


Then I tasted it (was yummy enough to tempt me to eat it and wonder why I never made it for myself). I let it cool for a bit and then put it in a baby food jar (my mommy got me those) and stored it for use. I think it will be used multiple times.

IMG_9806 IMG_9807

He had some of it, a few bites which is a good start for me. Glad he liked it enough to take more than one bite.
Hope this helps you all as well.

A visit to the pediatrician

So took my baby to the doctors for one of his many vaccinations. Our doctor is quite senior and has a nice clinic in his basement where he sees his patients. The waiting room is really nice with jungle book characters painted on the walls, animal chairs, toy trucks to play with and a fish aquarium as well.

There are many parents usually with children of all ages waiting for their turns. Have visited the clinic many times now but the last visit was worth mentioning and writing about.
We first saw a lady hit her babies care giver (another little 9-10 year old boy) on his head for not listening to her fast enough. It made me very angry especially now that I have a child of my own.

Next I saw the father of twin babies and an older child threaten to slap his older son in front of everyone for fiddling with a chair that his mothers feet were resting on. Felt mortified for the little boy who was probably feeling neglected and bored enough as it is.

Next I had a chat with a little girl who took great pleasure in telling me that her brother was here to see the doctor because he is quite unwell and differing from loose motions.

Overall it isn’t really something to write him about I guess. But I found that visit quite interesting as it shows is different facets of people, their thoughts and their actions. How different people think and act is something I always find fascinating and insightful.